Looks like its gonna be war..

I don't know if God is punishing me for all my sins, I've tried very hard on my part. But howcome this is happening to me? My dearest friend, we got into a serious fight, one where one cannot help but cry at night and think of dying. I know it seems a little bit stupid and over reacting, but I don't think we can ever be friends again, though even if she kills me with her words, slashes me with her glares, and freezing me with her coldness, no matter what she does, or what happens, I would still love her. I gave her my trust and love, and once I give my all, I stand with my decision.

Everyday we see each other, and I cannot face the day without seeing her, and it just makes me hurt inside. I hate i t, and it seems that more and more people are getting invovled with this "fight". i don't want to be torned apart, even though countless times I've apologised, again and again, she hardens, I feel like shit, like she's on deaf ears every time I speak to her, like every time I look at her she pierces me with such coldness it permeates my skin.

I don't even want to look at anything that forces me to look back when our days were conceived of joyous discussing of anime, slah, yaoi, other stuff that I can only say to her, and about my darling, yes, my darling, she accepts the fact that I love Gin far more than her, and it's hard to think that more and more of are friends are getting fed up with this so called war, but it's not I who wanted that, I never wanted anything like this to happen, Shit. If she only listened, even for a little while, she would feel that I would give up everything, even everything that she want that's mine..everything.